Blood Gulch Blogger

Twinkies-N-Beer-06:

Kai, what the hell is with your username? And stop going to those clubs! You're gonna get pregnant again.

LockPickstah44:

Hey, new blogger! You must be the "girl girl" on the Blue Team my buddy Tucker told me about. Kaikaina, huh? That's a gorgeous name. You're Hawaiian, right?

Anyway, my name's York. I'm a Freelancer, and I specialize in break-ins.

By the way, Tucker mentioned that you're hot. If that's true... I have a Porsche.

sexxy_kay:

Dexxie-kins, the only answer for that is cake! Yeah, the cake made me do it. Besides I can't get pregnant, you only can do that when you use birth control! But it's not my fault this time, the Mexican man knocked me up and left me there!

Hi Porsche guy! We're only Hawaiian on mom's side, but it's pretty funky-fresh! You should see the pictures of Dex in my coconut bra I took during spring break! ...Tucker's the one with the dog, right?

Twinkies-N-Beer-06:

Dammit, doesn't your Gynocologist explain ANYTHING clearly?! You get pregnant when you're NOT on birth control! Birth control prevents pregnancy! That's why it's called birth control! It controls birth! And I fuckin' swear to God if you send York those pictures, I will never buy you booze again!

LockPickstah44:

I would love to see Grif wearing your bra. That would just make my day. ^-^

And... I don't know if Tucker has a dog. He says "bow chicka bow wow" a lot and wears teal armor. He's not the chick, the mean one, or the stupid one. Just to be sure, though, I'll ask if he has a dog.

Twinkies-N-Beer-06:

York, you are a Goddamned idiot. Stop flirting with my sister!

LockPickstah44:

I'm not flirting, I'm being nice. I only flirt in person!

Twinkies-N-Beer-06:

Who in the hell are you trying to kid?!

Listen, Kai, this guy is bad news, Porsche or no. And even worse, he's friends with Tucker, so he's probably just playing wingman or something. You and I both know Tucker only wants to get in your armor. Listen to big brother on this one, okay?

LockPickstah44:

I think your sister is old enough to make her own decisions, Grif. What do you say, Kaikaina? We friends? ^-^

sexxy_kay:

Now, now boys, don't fight. There's plenty of Sister to go 'round the canyon. ;)

York seems really nice, don't worry about it, Dexter.

Dude, that's not what birth control does! It controls your birthing-ness so that you can not be... shit. Oh well!

York, I think the pictures have to wait until I'm 21. My bad. I'll find other ways to embarrass the family!

Twinkies-N-Beer-06:

WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU?! DON'T EMBARASS THE FAMILY!!!

sexxy_kay:

What, jealous that I'm stealing your job AND doing it better than you? Is it really embarrassing the family if it's only embarrassing you? Because then I could tell them about the first time you rode Medusa...

Twinkies-N-Beer-06:

DO NOT EVEN DARE.

LockPickstah44:

Sounds like a great story! I'd love to hear it.

...The only thing I got out of that was Grif in a coconut bra.

Hey Sister, can I have a copy of that? It would make the best blackmail ever.

Wait, fuck, Medusa?

Spill it. Now.

Twinkies-N-Beer-06:

I WAS DRUNK!!! And nooo, Sister will not give you a copy! And Medusa... was my first rollercoaster. It's not important!

...Well if I can't have a copy, can I at least see it?

And the rollercoaster. Why isn't it "important"? Did you like, crap your pants or something? I can understand why that'd be embarrassing.

[[OOC: Simmons TOTALLY doesn't have any other motives for seeing a picture of Grif in a coconut bra besides blackmail. >_>]]

Twinkies-N-Beer-06:

I was a kid, and I was definitely too young for those corkscrews........ I cried, okay?! I was completely bawling, in freakin' tears, in public, at the exit of the ride, and I wouldn't let go of my mom. Gawd.

And no, you can't see it. And your persistance is disturbing. Quit it.

How old were you? Just wondering.

You know, I've never actually been on a rollercoaster.

Why can't I see it, come on! It's not like anyone else will be able to see it through my brain or something. I'm just curious.

Twinkies-N-Beer-06:

I can't remember. I think I was sevenish.

Dude, seriously? You and I are going to Six Flags.

Curious about what?! If I'd make a hot chick or something? It's stupid-looking. I really think you could find a lot classier entertainment than a pale, scrawny, drunken 22-year-old wearing a coconut bra and singing "Aloha Oe" horribly off-key.

Is there even a Six Flags anywhere near here?

Geez, I bet it's not even that bad of a picture. I'm sure I'll just see it and go, "You're a moron, this isn't even that bad," and then hand it back to you.

Plus it's not like I could hear your singing through the photograph. Honestly, Grif.

Twinkies-N-Beer-06:

Nah. We'll have to road trip or something.

I highly, highly doubt that.

Oh, and you seriously think they didn't make a video? It's an embarrassment, too. It kinda ruined any potential I had for a... you know what? I don't think I feel like sharing that part of the story with anyone. Can we please drop the subject now?

If we're having a roadtrip, I'm uninviting Donut.

Ruined any potential you had for a what?

Twinkies-N-Beer-06:

That's fine. He probably is scared of rollercoasters anyway, and he'll definitely talk the whole way.

I said I'm dropping the subject. I don't want to talk about it, okay? Seriously. I'm not trying to be an ass or anything, it's just a touchy subject. Brings back bad memories and I don't want to go there.

I'm sure he'd want to do more of those dumb bonding exercises, too.

Sorry. I guess I didn't realize how touchy you were about it, I thought you were just avoiding it the same way any other person would avoid something vaguely embarrassing.

You sure you don't want to talk about it? I'm here if you need to.

Twinkies-N-Beer-06:

Yeah, I'm fine. I don't wanna get into my past. Besides, you don't really wanna hear me emo-bitching about my crushed dreams, do you?